Monday, November 21, 2005

Third Floor - Housewares

I shoulda been a kettle.

No, really. I have this really neat feature that would make me very marketable: Instant Boil.

Truly. I feel like I am on constant simmer and it takes next to nothing for the steam to come shooting out of my ears. And the volume on the whistle? Deafening. You could hear me for blocks, I'm sure.

Just ask my kids.

No, wait. Don't ask them. They probably couldn't hear you anyway.

Doug says it sounds like I need a break. Sure. Sounds like. But a break doesn't change anything. The stuff that annoys me and has me feeling like I'm banging my head against a brick wall will still be there. Honestly, you'd think I could talk quieter since I know I'm the only one listening anyway. Volume doesn't seem to do the trick. Repetition with increasing degrees of volume also has no effect. The kids can't read yet, so I can't even leave them written communiques.

*sigh* Pouty

But I know it's not all external stress either. If I had the energy to go looking, I'm sure I'd find that I'm also beating myself up for not meeting my expectations either. But I don't have that energy right now.

Tea anyone?

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Lightbulb on aisle five...

Sometimes the answer is staring you right in the face.

Matt makes a competition out of everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. Especially when it's stuff that doesn't matter. And he will NEVER admit defeat. Even when it's blatantly obvious even to a dimwit that he's not what he claims to be. His philosophy seems quite neatly summed up as:

I reject your reality and replace it with my own.

For instance, this boy claims to be the oldest one he knows. He insists that he's in grade five (he's in grade two). And he will always claim to have done things faster than his brother, even when he hasn't. He pushes his way to get in the door first, get in the van first (even though it means Kel climbing over him), and insists on his his food being served first.

In short, he's made all the things that don't matter - matter.

Why? I kept asking myself. Why does he do this? What makes this so important to him?

Then it hit me. This kid doesn't know his own value. He's creating value for himself in the only way he knows how, even if it doesn't line up with reality. And, if I look back, he's been doing it ever since his brother got here.

How does this happen? We try to affirm him as much as we can. Unfortunately, we have much more bad behaviour to deal with than good, so it makes it a lot harder to provide the "10 affirming statements to 1 negative statement" ratio. How do you affirm his value while trying to get him to understand that he can't take out his anger at me on his brother? I would get just as angry if someone were treating him that way, but since there's fewer opportunities to come to HIS rescue he doesn't have any way of really internalizing that.

So... now I know the underlying problem. I still don't really have a clue about how to fix it. Perhaps I need to borrow some of Jude's "attachment" books (though I already have one...).

*sigh******** It leaves a rotten feeling in the pit of your stomach to know that you have somehow failed to instill value in your precious child..........

(Oh, and for anyone who happens to be praying for us - please continue! We're in the middle of a really negative part of the behaviour cycle at the moment. It's been a tough week...)

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Yet more of what Cindy needs...

In case there are those reading this who do not peruse Yvonne's site, I will let you in on one of the best ways I've found to relieve stress. Do not do this if you are not prepared to roll on the floor laughing, or at least tear up from the hilarity.

Here's the deal: Go to Google and type in your name and the word 'needs' in quotes. ie: "Cindy needs". The results will be quite interesting. I've left three lists so far in Yvonne's comments, but I can't resist going back for more when I'm feeling stressed. And today has been a hum-dinger!

So.... here's some more of what Google thinks Cindy needs.

Cindy needs her cake plate!

Cindy needs to graph the following equation: y=2x + 5.

Cindy needs to get online fast.

Also Cindy needs evaluation and refresher work for trail so she can find her forever home.

Original Cindy needs a ride home from work.

Cindy needs reimbursement for the last one, though.

Cindy needs photo support.

Cindy needs to tell us all about her great experience hiking in the desert last week.

Cindy needs three more years to finish college and get her degree and another year to earn her teaching credential.

Mom, Cindy needs to talk to you.

As if Cindy needs to answer to him!!

Cindy needs a permanent Home and someone to love and attention. If you are looking for a sweet devoted companion. Trained and great with kids.

Cindy needs a lobotomy.

Cindy needs electrical information.

As a financial analyst, Cindy needs to keep her daytime look on the conservative side, but that doesn't mean she has to sacrifice style.

Cindy needs to move to another room.

Cindy needs to have the cookies by Thursday, October 6

Cindy needs a vanilla latte today.

Cindy needs a cat.

Cindy needs a T-shirt that says, "It's all about ME!"

Cindy needs a makeover.

"Cindy needs a little help with her slim figure." Aunt Mae said.

Cindy needs to be on your list of must-reads.

Cindy needs a lot more training though.

...because my sister Cindy needs details.

Cindy needs money (I was wondering if that one would ever come up!)

Cindy needs some flank coverage going into the stretch.

And that, dear readers, is all I could glean from the 752 results. Except for all the stuff over at Yvonne's blog, of course. Good for a giggle. Let me know what you find.

Oh, and in case you missed them, here are my favorites:

Cindy needs one of those for her pond because it could be her signal to the mothership to come and pick her back up and take her home.

Cindy needs to do some research and find out the truth about fats.

Cindy needs more care than an average horse.

Cindy needs to be more concerned about the quality of air occupying the space between her ears.

Original Cindy needs tires.

Right now, Cindy needs help in aisle five.

Maybe Cindy needs to chime in and scream "FREE THE OKLAHOMA 1!!!!!!" Then maybe someone might listen.

I guess from that logic, Cindy needs to shut the heck up.

Okay... I'm done now.