Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Cindy-lu who?

No, I haven't disappeared from the face of the earth.

Thanks to those of you who've been prodding me to post. I don't really have much to say right now, and I have to leave the house again soon to go pick up my other kid from school. There's a lot of comings and goings in my day for a homebody such as me.

We've been dealing with some extended family stress, Doug's work stress, multiple doctor visits, and I'm definitely doing the old depression wrestle.

I'm pulling out of some things I've been involved with, and thinking about pulling out of others. My daily routine is necessary. Things get done, but I still feel overwhelmed on days like Mondays when I have to wash all the kids' bedding, menu plan for the week, and grocery shop after the kids are in bed on top of all the day to day stuff like washing clothes, dishes, making dinner, making sure lunches are made, making sure there's muffins and bread or bagels for said lunches, squeezing in some Christmas baking (I love that one - don't tell me it's one I can skip, OK), and making sure the table is set for breakfast before I go to bed. Last night I was almost in tears by the time I crawled into bed and at a pretty decent hour, too.

I'm sad, but I couldn't really tell you why. Matt's left the good part of the behaviour cycle and has given us a run for our money the last few weeks, though he seems to be settling down a bit now. I feel like I have a case of "Swiss cheese brain". I can't seem to remember anything.

Believe it or not, this doesn't actually have anything to do with Christmas. My "Bah Humbugging" pretty much left after we had Matt, though I can't say I'm overly excited about stuff this year. I'm hosting my family's dinner this year. If I hadn't we'd all be going out for pizza and bowling. Sorry, but I really LOVE a good turkey dinner, and I must say that I can actually deliver that.

So, that's where I've been. Just call me "Mary Sunshine". Well, at least don't call me late for a turkey dinner, okay?

Oh, and if you're wondering about the font size - this is for you, Sherr....

Monday, November 08, 2004

The Fatal Flaw...

Yep, I've found it.

I have found the fatal flaw in all the child rearing theories. Including attachment parenting. (Sorry Jude)

Seems we all manage to forget the human component. It's always some variation of reaping what we sow.... but we're not growing plants, or programming computers, or getting dogs to salivate.... We're raising little people.

People. Don't ya just love us? We try really hard, and then we mess up. We even try to explain it away with lovely theories like "When we know to do better, we do better." As though we were unfamiliar with the cause of our downfall. And, sure, sometimes we are, but most of the time, I propose, we are simply human.

See, I know that if I go to bed at a decent hour, eat only healthy foods, get enough exercise, etc... that I will feel better and handle the adventures of life better. So, do I make the good choices? Sometimes. And sometimes I will just go for the Pepsi and peanutbutter cups and zesty Doritos, stay up until all hours blogging or playing computer games, and drive around the corner to 7-11. Why? Don't I get enough positive feedback from making the right choices? Sure I do. Don't I know better? Of course I do. I like how I feel and function when I'm doing what I know is good for me. Somehow that just isn't enough to keep me there.

So, I think I will TRY to have a little more grace for my kids when I think they should "know better". After all, they're just as human as I am....

Don't ya think?....