Just keep swimming, just keep swimming....

Oy! I did it again!

Since it's Monday I made up my menu plan for the week, carefully prepared my list, grabbed my water jug, strapped on the boots and schlepped into my winter coat and headed out to the store. Without my list.

Now, if you've been reading this blog lately you know I have an enormous case of "Swiss Cheese Brain" at the moment. Forgetting the list could be tragedy in the making! So, what did I do? I was already a block away from the store when I realized I'd forgotten. It would take too much time to turn around and go back. I'd just wind up staying in, beating myself up (mentally - I'm far too much of a wimp to actually do myself any physical damage...), and being extra rushed and stressed tomorrow. So, instead I took a deep breath, figured out what my bottom line was (y'know, 'what do I need to make dinner tomorrow?'...), realized that I could remember a can of salmon, and headed off into the store to see what would come of it all.

I made it to both stores (always get my dairy at Safeway), and I'm home with all the stuff put away. I haven't even checked the list yet to see what I forgot. Could it be that I'm actually learning to be kind to myself? After all, what is really gained by the old "stupid! stupid! stupid!" game? It doesn't help me to remember any better.

I was reading an article somewhere lately (Please don't ask me to remember where or when...) about stress itself being a stressor. It was suggesting that the way we deal with daily stresses can either add or detract from our overall stress level. I was remembering times in my life when others around me were freaking out about things while I chose to just take them in stride. Wow, I can hardly believe that was me! Well, given how I've been approaching life lately.

So, today I took the missing list in stride. If I'd forgotten the cereal we'd all have survived. It's not like there's nothing else to eat in the house. I'd love for this attitude to just spread itself more into the rest of my life, but I have a hunch that this is a more deliberate thing. It doesn't seem to be in my nature at the moment. I'll have to keep choosing it. Talking myself through it.

Funny how we (read: I ) tend to give others so much more grace than we (I) give ourselves. I am my own worst critic. Ooooooohhhh, and all this time I thought it was my (extended) family... ;-) Time to give myself a break. That doesn't mean I'm going to let go of all expectations of myself, but I will try to go with the flow, pick up the pieces, and just keep swimming....

Man, I wish I could speak whale.....