The Mind is a Steel Trap

Unfortunately, mine is only capable of capturing minutiae (Doug hates that word) and trivial, meaningless things. And quotes. Usually Simpsons quotes. I made the error of mentioning this talent on Erica's blog, and received a request for my top 20 Simpsons quotes - or the first 20 that come to my mind - either way...

So, prepare to groan, 'cause here we go!

1. Homer: "I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!" said while burning his High School Diploma, and setting the rest of the living room on fire.
2. Homer: "Are you really the head of the Quickie Mart?" "yes" "really?" "yes" "REALLY?" "yes, thank you, come again" This exchange happened when Homer and Apu went to India to beg the head of the Quickie Mart for Apu's job back. They were only allowed three questions.
3. Ralph: "I bent my wookie!" spoken after he won the diorama-rama contest.
4. Bart: "Just more of me to love, honey..." Marge's dream sequence where Bart grows up to be an exotic dancer.
5. "Hello Grandpa my old friend. Your busy day is at an end...." Sung at the end of the 'Mrs. Bouvier' episode when they get on the trolley to get back to the senior's home in time for Matlock.
6. Ralph: "The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I just kept my finger out of there."
7. Martin: "Hark to the tale of Nelson, and the boy he loved so dear. They remained the best of friends for years and years and years!" Sung during the episode where the lemon tree was stolen by Shelbyville.
8. Lisa: "My dad thinks he belongs. He belongs in a zoo. I'm the sa-a-a-a-adest kid in gra-a-a-a-ade number two". Lisa's blues song in the episode where she meets Bleeding Gums Murphy.
9. Ralph: "Me fail English? That's Un-possible!"
10. Mr. Burns: "See my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest. See my sweater, there's none better than authentic Irish setter. See this hat, t'was my cat. My evening wear (something)-clawed bat. These new slippers are albino African endangered rhino. Grizzly bear underwear, turtle's necks I've got my share, (fuzzy right here) See my red robin suit, it comes one vest or two. See my vest, see my vest, see my vest. Like my loafers, former gophers, it was that or skin my chauffeurs but a Greyhound fur tuxedo would be grand. (something something) dogs. Kill two for matching clogs! See my vest! See my vest! Seeeee my vest!" "I really like the vest."
11. Ralph: "That's my sand box. I'm not allowed in the deep end. That's where I saw the Leprechaun. He told me to burn things."
12. Ooter: "Don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate!"
13. Homer: "Hey Marge! Remember when we used to make out to this hymn?" That was when Bart slipped in his version "In the Garden of Eden" into the service.
14. Homer: " Don't blame me! I voted for Kang." When Kang and Kodos took over the bodies of the presidential candidates.
15. Teacher: "Okay class, let's take out a circle of paper and a safety pencil" When Homer took a new job and moved the family.
16. "Dr. Zeyus, Dr. Zeyus. Dr. Zeyus, Dr. Zeyus. Dr. Zeyus, Dr. Zeyus. Ohhh Dr. Zeyus. Dr. Zeyus, Dr. Zeyus." song from the musical version of The Planet of the Apes - starring Troy McClure. Followed by the finale: "... I hate every ape I see, from Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z, you'll never make a monkey out of me... Oh my gosh! I was wrong (statue of liberty rises)! It was earth all along. You've finally made a monkey... Yes we've finally made a monkey! You've finally made a monkey out of me!"
17. Apu: "Banana Bread! What were you thinking!" After the octuplets were born and Homer and Marge paid a visit.
18. Homer: pretending to be Mr. Burns' mother "Hello, Mr. Burns. This is your mother! You are a bad son Montel...."
19. Apu: "I can't believe you don't shut up!" Said to Homer.
20. Apu and Simpsons: "Who needs the Quickie Mart? Their floors are sticky mart. It makes us sicky-mart. The Quickie Mart is real... doh! Who needs the Quickie mart? Not me!" " Who needs the Quickie Mart? I dooooooooooo!"

Okay, anyone else see a theme here? Funny how music makes stuff stick in your head better. Erica, I'll see if I can come up with any more off the top of my head. And I promise... I did not cheat here. I ALMOST looked up some of the words to Mr. Burns' song, but I resisted, as this was meant to test my memory.

WAIT!!!! I just remembered one of Doug's favorites, so please indulge me. This is when the Simpsons were going into the witness relocation program. They are being briefed on their new name... "Okay, Homer, now, when I say 'hello Mr. Anderson (I think?)' and wink like this, and step down on your foot like this you say 'hello' Okay?" Homer: "Right" Guy: "Hello Mr. Anderson" Homer to the other guy "I think he's talking to you."

Oh, and alright, I did go and check a quote site AFTER I posted this, but this one is my new favorite, so I won't claim to have remembered it - I just need to pass it on. During this episode Homer found that prayer was the key to his life. So he prayed for everything. One evening he was praying aloud, very obnoxiously when Marge tells him "Y'know Homer, most people pray silently." Homer: "But Marge, He's way the HELL up there!" (excuse the crassness, but it doesn't work without spelling it out!)