It Takes A Village

Jude left a comment on my last post:

"Is there something those of us that love you can do for you or with you in this trying time?"


Well, y'know the saying...

"It takes a village to raise a child."

So, after much thought and discussion with my husband and co-labourer we have come up with this.

Be the village.

What we need, on a truly practical level, is for people (not just families, either) to come around us and purposely build relationship. Spend time with us and our kids. Become "safe people" for our kids and then you can even be the occasional respite for us on the front line. We are simply not going to survive this if we have to go it alone. We're the front line, but we are desperately needing some back-up!

So... invite us out to the park with you. Let's plan a picnic together. Who wants to go to the snake dens with us in the fall? Camping anyone?

See, if you don't build relationship with our kids too then there will be no-one to spell us off when we really NEED time to bounce back. So far we've been trying to spell each other off, but we're both running out of steam and realize that we need more help.

BTW... single people who don't have kids of their own to look after would be totally SWEET to have around as good role models.

It's funny... but when we were childless we felt like we couldn't really break into the social circles of couples with kids. We thought that would change once we became parents. But it didn't. Matt's needs and social shortcomings put up walls (partly from our side - mia culpa) to building relationships with other families 'cause we just didn't know what he would do. They still do. So, not only are we not in relationship AS A FAMILY with other families, but we don't have relationships with the singles or other kid-free couples, either. Isolation sucks. And we just haven't been in a space to initiate our way out of this.

So, if you really want to help... come and get us!