Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Tolerate this!

tolerate v. to bear or support; to suffer to be or to be done without prohibition or hindrance; to allow or permit; to treat in a spirit of patience and forbearance; not to judge of or condemn with bigotry.

tolerance n. the quality of being tolerant; the capacity or the act of enduring; a disposition to be patient and indulgent toward those whose opinions or practices differ from one's own.

I don't want to be tolerated. Please do not endure me. Like me or don't. Agree with me or don't, but please do not tolerate me. Have an opinion. Make a judgement. When I want to be indulged, I'll ask you.

When did tolerance become a virtue? Patience, yes. (I checked with Galatians 5) But tolerance speaks to me of the lukewarmness of Revelation 3. YUCK! It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Now, before you come after me, I am not advocating calling everyone down who disagrees with you. And, in spite of being a first-born (see Erica's post on first-borns) I know that I'm not always right. So dialogue with me. I can agree to disagree.

Tolerance has become a buzzword for the idea that "everyone does what's right for them", as though we have the capacity within us to determine our own morality. It has become a word that removes absolutes and decries any who hold them. I realize that we live in a world of grey tones, but at the root I still believe there are blacks and whites. Some things are just right, and others are wrong. It's not always easy to discern; sometimes it's impossible given our limited perspective.

Tolerance has also been used as an excuse. If you don't want to conform to a particular standard all you have to do is cry "intolerance!". You could just as easily cry out "prejudice" or any of the "isms" that spring from it. People need to accept me just as I am, and I certainly am under no compulsion to meet any arbitrary standard....

Is it wrong to hold standards? I don't think so. Are all standards worth holding? I don't think so. So, instead of tolerating, enduring, and suffering with each other let's talk. Let's rework unreasonable standards together. Let's get to the root of the issues that lead to holding different standards. Let's have opinions and not water them down, while still being open to input. Let's agree to disagree. Let's even embrace differences where they're valid, but for heaven's sake let's stop just tolerating each other!

Don't you deserve better than to be tolerated? I do.