Raging Grammarian

Flylady sent out a note today telling everyone who writes in to correct her spelling or grammar that they are simply captives of their perfectionism. It's not the first time she's sent that message, but today I really felt I needed to reply. I'll probably be ignored and lumped in with the rest, but I needed to speak my piece.

I love language. I especially love eloquent use of the English language. Language just seems second nature to me, so I have a hard time understanding why people would have such a hard time using it correctly. Can't they just hear when something is off? I do. I also find that I proofread everything I read. I don't intend to do it, it just happens. I notice ALL the misprints in the church bulletin, and I DO find myself asking "don't they have someone proof this before it gets printed?"

Since I joined the Flylady program I have heard her plead for us to overlook the language issues and see the heart. So I try. I do see the heart. I appreciate the heart. I just don't get why it's so hard to have someone proof your writing before you send it out to a mass audience. I've never written in to criticize. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I sure felt mine were hurt today.

Tell me, those of you who are musicians out there, when you hear someone sing or play off-key, doesn't it hurt? I mean, it's painful. Those of you who cook, when you taste something really off, it is actually painful. When we see something that we have a love for being done poorly, we CAN see the heart and appreciate the effort, but it's still an unpleasant experience.

To have my love for an elegant language written off as mere perfectionism, something to be banished, well..... That hurt. I had to tell this wonderful lady that just because this is not her strength doesn't mean it is invalid for me to notice and feel the pain of poorly used words. I will strive to put the feelings of people above my love for language, but I shall not let go of my passion.

Funny, I'd been thinking about this language thing recently, even before the Flylady note. My boys both have speech delays. Matt's is far more pronounced, and I haven't seen much progress in the last year. I know it will make it that much harder for him to learn how to read. How can he read a word with "L" in it when he can't even say "L"? I've always had difficulty understanding people who process differently than I do, and I guess I've really taken my intuitive approach to language for granted. I can model correct grammar 'til the cows come home, but Kelvin is still going to say "them is ....".

My kids may not have my genetics, but God surely meant them for me. They stretch me in ways I'm not sure I have the ability to go. Grace. Lots and lots of grace. That's what I need.

My friends who blog, you don't need to worry. I won't be correcting your grammar. (Well, at least not out loud, anyway.) I will see your heart (with my x-ray vision) and appreciate you.