Say What?!

I wish I could, but for the last three days I have been vocally challenged. My skills at charades have improved vastly, but my voice remains silent. And perhaps that's a good thing. For if I had my voice today I might have regaled Matthew with one of my favorite quotes from the immortal Apu Nahasapimapetalon :

"I can't believe you don't shut up!!"

Which is far more applicable than "Banana Bread! What were you thinking?!"

*****sigh******


Now, I realize that my kid has some interesting wiring going on inside his head. I do try not to be overly subtle with him, or he'll miss the point. But some days even the direct "be quiet!!!" or "stop saying that!!!" is met with simple defiance. Even as he watches the time out minutes piling up while we're out for lunch, and even when he's serving that time after we get home, he still doesn't get it. Some days a simple 1-2-3 count is pretty much all it takes to stop bad behaviour, but not today. Today he sits in a restaurant and spits at me. He even threatened to bite me. When he is corrected he laughs and yells out to the world "My mom is a stupid mom! The one with the red shirt on! Hey everybody! My mom is stupid!" ( I wasn't even wearing red today...) What are you gonna do? You can't very well smack his bottom or duct tape his mouth shut. Not that it would work if you did....


No, you take a deep breath, search madly for the Advil you know you have somewhere and hope it will release you from the pain of the huge vein throbbing in your forehead. You decide that perhaps ordering in while you visit with an out-of-town aunt tonight would be better than going out. You pray for more grace. You give him the time out - knowing that he will likely fall asleep during it, and hope that he will have more control when he wakes.


And you come to the computer and blog all the stuff that your mouth is unable to say...


Do you think he'll ever get the idea that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?...